K is for : Knights

Fun and freaky fact : As much as the crew might like to have done, the Monty Python team didn't cut off John Cleese's legs when filming the Black Knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Instead they used a local one legged actor to stand in for the scene where his leg is cut off. Terry Gilliam also revealed that this actor had a second time saving benefit... when they dug a hole for the actor to stand in to show the Black Knight with no legs, they only had to dig a hole half as wide - just big enough for one leg!

J is for : Jester

Fun and freaky fact : There isn't one. I searched the internet for ages but found not a single fact remotely interesting. No jester was ever born with an arse for a head, no jester was born a woman and passed herself off as a man for twenty years. Nothing! Ziltch! Yet if I'd put a search into Google for, blonde nineteen russian girl whipped cream donkey dwarf  illegal milf insert jellied eels, I would have had page after page of results. (and a tired arm) So, what's tomorrow, K? Fat chance!

Who put the "ann" in tyranny?

Today I present a little drawing of a row of canal-side houses in Amsterdam (note the gentle reflction in the condom infested canal) Today I salute the worlds greatest exponent of Hide & Seek. Anne Frank hid from the nazis from July 1942 till August 1944, just over two years. In fairness to the nazis they did count up to 45,456,825 before looking for her, easily finding her behind a lamp standard. During her two years hiding Anne Frank kept a diary. A typical weeks entry read : Monday - hid. Tuesday - hid. Wednesday -hid. Thursday - played the drums... only kidding - hid. A much more lighthearted read is the diary of Mohammed Bin Collection, a detained suspected terrorist. Monday - "had electrodes attached to my testicles. 5,000 volts, lover-ly! Bring it on Yankee Boy". Tuesday - "watched Loose Women : Please. No more, I'll talk!!!"

Walk this way

  I can't really add too much to what the map says but Jack the Ripper walks aren't the only way to use up a bit of shoe leather. Other walks around London will take in various quirky attractions such as the worlds smallest police station - to be found at the south east corner of Trafalgar Square. Just big enough to hold two policeman it was used mainly to keep an eye on protesters but is no longer used by the police. Instead it's a broom cupboard for Westminster council cleaners. I could make a sarcastic comment but I'll leave that up to you. Answers on a postcard or on the back of a sealed down envelope. (I miss Swap Shop!) Maybe you'd like to see the only street in Britain where cars drive on the right! Savoy Court to be exact... no I'm not making this up! How about taking a look at the lions in Trafalgar square. (near the broom cupboard) They're incorrect. Seriously! Crouched as they are there backs should be convex but they are concave. Big Ben is leaning over, it's not straight! Finally you could look for a street with the unfortunate title of Gropecunt Lane!! You'd be disappointed as that name hasn't been used since 1561!! Still you can make do with Back Passage or Cumming Street!

Bad Hair day

Like a possum, the Hognose, Grass snake and Spitting cobra will fake their death if threatened - very much like professional footballers will fake injury if you so much as look at them. The website that provided me with the above fact was very polite and said that they also let out some smelly stuff from their anal gland... which I think means they shit themselves!! The snake, that is, not the footballers. They just talk it! MY favourite snake is of course the Monty Python, which I think once ate a parrot... and a bicycle repairman or two.