This is dragon on a bit

Okay! So I used to play a bit of Dungeons & Dragons - how else are young men supposed to meet girls? On the way home from work I pass a Games Workshop and on thursdays it must be role-playing night as it's generally full of specky four-eyed, greasy haired, lonely losers... VERY much like myself. Sometimes, just sometimes there might be a girl in there. Yeah! I know. A GIRL. Usual chatter follows thus : "If I role higher than a 15 on a d20 it means she's not wearing any knickers!" Snigger, snigger, push glasses back up nose. "Oh, you're so cool, Brian. I wish I was that good with the girls." "Maybe you could... IF you role higher than 18 on a d20 AND possess the ancient jam jar of dragon's testicles."

Dumb-ass the parody

I'm a big fan of sequential art in any form from cartoon strips to graphic novels - from Calvin & Hobbes to Heavy Metal. I also like adaptations of them (mainly 'cos I don't read many books and I don't think we'll be seeing movie version of, "Where's Wally?" anytime soon). I haven't seen the film but I know there's a foul mouthed school kid in it called, Hit-girl (I live in Essex so these Chavs are two-a-penny). Any such character has got to come from St. Trinians... not so much the recent versions but the old b&w films, which would make you fear for your life if you accidentally found yourself near their school.

Any old iron, man?

As a big AC/DC fan I think it's great that Iron Man 2 has released the soundtrack album made up of the band's greatest hits. Also brilliant is that it's the number 1 album around the world. One AC/DC song, "You Shook Me All Night Long" (from the 2nd biggest selling album of all time, "Back In Black" - you all know which album is the number 1!) was covered by Celion Dion. (yeah, I know!) a version which has the honour of being voted the worst cover version of all time, so bad you'd wish that she'd sunk with the Titanic instead of Jack & Sarah. (to be honest, I would anyway) It's even so bad that it is frequently played to suspected terrorists at Guantanamo Bay by the Americans and produces a 100% confession rate. (usually before the guitar solo) If anyone else knows a worse cover version you're a liar!!