A most unexpected item!

First things first, I hate these infernal self service machines. If ever I get near them I can hear them say to each other, "Eh, up! 'ere comes that sad old bastard and his economy range sausages and beans." I'm sure they create holographic images of other customers to make me think that the queue is gonna take ages and therefore for speed I end up using a self service till. And, as always, there is something in my basket that will - and EVERYTHING in the basket has come from their shelves - turn out to be, "unexpected". "Ooh! A tin of Tesco's own baked beans. We didn't expect that!" I could understand if I'd scanned a dead cat I'd scrapped off the pavement or attempted to bag a wandering infant I'd found looking forlornly at the cereal selection but it's all your produce you pathetic machines. I've seen the Terminator films, I know how this pans out. Be warned, Everyone!