Hare raising tails : number one

The War of Independence started out at the Nell Gywn tea room in Boston when a prominent American baseball player was hit in the eye with a scone and refused to pay. Britain sent lots of soldiers in bright red uniforms armed with tins of biscuits (or cookies) to dunk in the enemy's tea. Realising they'd only brought Rich Tea, which any connoisseur of the biscuit will tell you can't be dunked for any longer than 3 seconds, the British army was beaten. America declared independence on the 3rd of July but this was put back a day on account of the season finale of Lost. The Americans then began to insist that coffee was better and so the actual war carried on until 1783 when the British army ran out of biscuits. Uncle Sam then became the first King of the United American Emirates and America made a vow never to be on time for any war involving the British ever again. Walt Disney built Mickey Land to commemorate the victory and Colonel Sanders invented the chicken.