Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Got more heir than his dad!

Ah, the question that was asked a lot on the radio this morning, where were you when you found out about the royal birth? Some people seemed to be doing something important or will remember where they were for many years to come. Me? I was watching the horse racing at Windsor on the At The Races channel on sky!!! They were very professional about it all things considered. The commentator, Matt Chapman I think, was prattling on about 3 winning favourites having obliged or some horse putting in a gallant effort in defeat when, with not much else to talk about, asked if anyone knew if the baby had been born yet? Thinking perhaps that they might have a reporter outside the hospital. (I'd love to think they had some reporters dressed as a jockey and a pantomime horse urging Kate on like a horse you've bet a few quid on!!!) Then they cut to the studio and someone announced that a boy had been born. So there you go, that's how I found out... a bit like Russell Brand announcing that as from this moment, we are now at war with Germany!!! Matt did then wonder if anyone was actually watching anymore or weather the whole country had gone baby crazy. I wouldn't desert you, not when I've 50p on the favourite in the next race, Matt!!!!

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Reach for the starbucks

So another 70's celebrity is arrested for child sex abuses. Jimmy Tarbuck this time. Tarbuck was from a generation of comics who seemed to base their act on jokes that started, "I wouldn't say that my mother in law is fat, but... " Now I wouldn't say that Jimmy Tarbuck was funny... I wouldn't, really, I wouldn't! My favourite comedian of that era was always Dave Allan, absolute genius. At least no one can say anything bad about him now that he's passed on, but we never did find out where he lost that finger!!!

How black was my sabbath

I swear I'd posted this caricature ages ago but can't see any sign of it on here so may as well post it now. Tony Iommi is without question the master of the heavy guitar riff. I think most people know that he lost the ends of two of his fingers on his fretting hand so it's amazing that he's as good as he is. Apparently he glued the the tops of a couple of washing up liquid bottles onto his fingers so he could play. Bet Blue Peter never thought of that!! I did hear that porn star, Chad Thrust lost half of his old boy in a car door and he too used a washing up liquid bottle. It also came in handy when it was his turn to do the dishes... and press the button for the lift when he was carrying 2 bags of groceries.

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie!

Today is the day when they finally put Maggie in the ground. Millions of people will be watching if only to make sure that they do bury her... preferably in a mirror lined casket with some garlic and make sure that they dig a hole at least 20 feet deep and pour concrete over the top... Oh, and maybe they should have separated the head from the body first and bury that on the other side of the world. To be fair Maggie did loads of great things for this country, such as... damn! caps lock seems to be playing up and I think maybe Explorer has crashed!!!

Monday, 15 April 2013

Edinburgh Rock

I don't usually blow my own trumpet (haven't got the lips for it) but I'm posting this as I'm only responsible for the artwork, the client, Bob Skeldon did his own layout and did a good job too. This is a show that is part of this year's Edinburgh Festival. Typically an event that sees just about every comedian in the UK (and beyond) cross the border to Haggis land and try to give the locals a good laugh. (in much the same way that the Scottish football team do when they play at Wembley) I've never been but this year might be the time to get my jabs and dust off the old passport and catch a train to the motherland (I say motherland only because of my surname I wasn't actually born there, I'm as Scottish as Rod Stewart!!!)

Saturday, 6 April 2013

Grand National Winning Colours?

It's my favourite sporting event of the year (just ahead of European custard filled underpants championships) and I have a selection to pass on. I've put a lot of thought into this and as statistically the race is usually won by a horse of some description I have chosen... a horse. Previous winners have usually had four legs and a tail so that has also been taken into consideration. Add to that the fact that the Irish have a great record in the race I've gone for Colbert Station. Irish trainer, Irish owner, Irish jockey (probably a leprechaun !!) heck, even the horse has a strong Irish accent and lives on guinness. Round about this time of year the old "ban the race" brigade come out the woodwork. They bang on about the cruelty of the race and the deaths of the horses. Come on, if the race was banned what the hell would Findus put in their lasagne???????

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Dreaming of a white Easter!!

I can't believe how sodding cold it is. They're even talking on the radio about bookies taking bets for a white Easter!! It's not that unusual though. Apparently it's more likely to snow at Easter than at Christmas. Let's face it, this is England. It's more likely to piss down during the summer than at Christmas. I can't believe we didn't win any swimming golds at the Olympics, it's not as if we didn't have anything to practice in! This little character is someone that might be seen quite often in the near future, he's called Stookie. Watch this space.

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Bonkers Boris

Determined as I am to get back into putting stuff on this blog, I've done this cartoon strip to get the ball rolling. It was drawn as a side project for a client I've illustrated a book for. To quote Rowan Keating, you say it best when you say nothing at all... no wait, that doesn't work. You say it best when you say it!!! The following is a quote from Professor Bo Beolens OBE, KFC, MUFC, expert on all things birdlike --

The 'Why Not Manston' campaign is virtually unique being the opposite of Nimbyism. A group of people in Thanet want to see their local airport used as another 'London' airport as it already has the longest runway in the country, all the necessary infrastructure, plenty of space within its perimeter to expand services and most of the necessary feeder transport infrastructure. The one improvement necessary would be a spur line a few miles long to the fast rail to London. It would have negligible environmental impact compared to all the other proposals to meet London's air transport needs.

I believe, however, that a hedgehog lives nearby and has gone to the European Court of Human Rights. Bloody red tape!!! Come on Boris, if you so much as expand Heathrow by a foot you'll be inside someone's back garden!!! You're not much of a thinker and there's a solution right in front of you!!!