Monday, 30 January 2012

Ohh aah, jester a little bit

These are the finals inks and one of the finished colour artworks for a recently completed job. BEST client EVER!!! Those of you in the know (or who don't get out much) might recognise some of the references included in each character. Jesters as I mentioned previously are alive (not if I had a loaded gun) and well in old Blighty. I'd like to say a big hello to Jonathan the Jester, official jester to the city of Sailsbury. If you're reading this, er... want a cartoon, eh? like what you see? I'm cheap!!!

Monday, 23 January 2012

It's a man's best friend's life in the army

In 1969 John Lennon famously returned his medal, the MBE he and the rest of The Beatles were each awarded four years earlier. But at least it was his choice. In 1943 Chips was awarded the distinguished service medal. Chips was part of the US 3rd infantry division. The medal was awarded for, "Courageous action in singlehandedly eliminating a dangerous machine gun nest and causing the surrender of the crew". Four months later the medal was rescinded. Chips was a dog!! Half husky, half shepherd but all action hero! Either Chips was unique in being able to use a machine gun or he must have looked so cute in his little army uniform, so cute in fact that the Germans were distracted enough for Chips to steal their weapons and bury them outside. Chips decided that his future lay not with he army but with the air force and was part of the team put together by Professor Openheimer to develop the atomic bomb. Chips' legacy lived on however in the Vietnam War. His son, Fries, was the inspiration for the Robert Duvall character in Apocalypse  Now. Fries would arise every day to announce, "I love the smell of my own arse in the morning."

Saturday, 21 January 2012

Keeping abreast of things

This is an unsold topical cartoon so it's a bit late to find a market for it so... I really can believe the sheer nerve of these women who have been informed that there breast implants might blow up should their speed drop below 50 mph... or something. Now it was their decision to have these implants purely as a vanity exercise. Non of these women were told by a doctor, I'm sorry, Miss. You have leukaemia, but if you decide to have bigger tits you will be cured!! Now they're insisting that the national health (that's Mr. and Mrs. Tax payer) should foot the bill! Bugger off. You're so vain and celebrity obsessed that you're all, Oooh! I want big tities, I want to be like Jordan or that other girl Katie Price. But now it's all gone... tits up, you want us to pay for them. If I'd had a it of a play around with them, maybe. But no, you're own ladies.

Wednesday, 18 January 2012


Something all over the news is that Wikipedia isn't up today, well the English version anyway. A lot of people say how unreliable the thing is but I'll have none it. If it wasn't for Wikipedia I'd never have known That World War two was actually a prequel to World War one. WWI was so successful that dictators in Europe immediately ordered another one. The second World War stared Tom Hanks and Matt Damon (who played the parts of three sisters working as French prostitutes. When two of them caught the clap Tom Hanks had to find and shag the third one) Also featured in the prequel was Clint Eastwood who led a team of misfits behind enemy lines to steal a thousand jars of Gold Blend coffee right from under the noses of the Australians. The war was originally in black & white until the Welsh bombed Pearl Gabor, Greta's sister, and America brought colour into the European theatre of operations (along with stockings and gum) Other well known stars in the war were Frank Sinatra, who had an express train named after him, Liam Neeson who was obsessed with to do lists and a whole bunch of scruffy unwashed soldiers, dirty buggers, at least a dozen of them. Then there were all the escape attempts. Many famous actors escaped the war such as Richard Attenbourough. He went on to marry Ghandi and put a lot of money into breeding dinosaurs who then attacked all the Germans and they surrendered. Then the dinosaurs killed Godzilla and the Japanese surrendered and that was it. There might have been a few, "citations needed" but I believe every word, because most of it was filmed and it's on Sky movies!!

Saturday, 14 January 2012

A rare insight, part 1

I thought I'd share a little bit of the real me with the world, yes, the world!!! my blog is big in Costa Rica. The one television that the island has is in the repair shop at the moment. In my bathroom (where, in MTV terminology,  the magic happens) I have a charming collection of whimsical figurines called Boggies.
Now, to the uninitiated or the ignorant, they may simply look like the inside of bog rolls with faces scribbled on them. They do in fact magically transport themselves from the faraway land of Anderex-cushelle. A land of fairy folk and pixies who live in upturned teapots and sleep on beds of old tea bags.
These simple but magical folk as nothing in return, they don't value money and simply require me to leave my old teabags out on the window sill overnight and in the morning they have left me a brand new Boggie. So I ask everyone out there to do likewise and soon your house will seem a happier brighter place... oh, hello, nurse! Is it time for my medication already?

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

I'm Henry the eighth, I am

What the hell was that on TV last night? I was watching the FA cup highlights and what looked like Only Fools and Horses' Uncle Albert had blacked up and came on as a substitute for Arsenal!! What has Thierry Henry being doing since he left Arsenal? Set p his own badger reserve? We're led to believe he's been playing for the New York Red Bulls Give You Wings in the American inter-Continental soccer league east conference. I think he replaced Tom Hanks on that island and has only just been rescued. In all fairness to him, what a goal, what a story. The way he took that lateral pass from his defensive tight end and rushed for eight yards before beating the Leeds linebacker then slam-dunking the ball passed the on rushing Leeds quarterback was brilliant. F.A. Bowl for the gunners, eh?