Monday 15 August 2011

Sketchbook of fright

Film and TV characters never seem to get hungry or even go to the toilet. 24's Jack Bauer can go a whole day and never feel the need to see a man about a dog... unless the dog owner happens to have hidden 10lb's of high explosive up the dog's arse. Any normal person would quite easily find themselves in a situation of having to say, "I'm sorry, Madame President. I know you're about to be shot but I've got a tortoise in the tunnel and these jeans have to last 24 episodes!" Never in, what was it? seven seasons? did Bauer walk into shot saying, "Blimey, I needed that." And as for characters like Batman. How the hell DOES he take a leak? That suit's got no buttons. If he was to stop for a bite to eat and let's say he has a fancy for a Chicken Madrass, he's got to be able to get cheek to seat pretty sharpish. I've sat at work and buried quite a few in my chair so Batman's suit after even a mild Korma would stink to high heaven!!

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